An open letter
My face warms up with love when I think of the laughs, the
heartache, the journey and the crazy laughs we ve had before time made its
decision . How I miss your being, your presence, your smell , the way you would
get under my skin and I would literally want to struggle you with something ,
the way you understood me and I misunderstood you , time played its part yet it
still feels like yesterday when we would argue about a hip-hop artist and you would always let me win ,because you
just dint care much about winning an argument .
The time we had , we ‘ve shared was borrowed time but the
moments shared within that time are priceless , one day my child will know of you in spirit , he/she will know my other half, my beyond free spirited brother , whom could
make anybody feel appreciated by acknowledging them , a young man who had
Ubuntu and the energy that could
sparkle a deem room. Time played its
tricky games with me and had already made its own calculations ,had me thinking
that we still had all the time in the world to make things better for ourselves
.
This is an open letter to you , me being happy to remember
you and be able to smile sincerely from the core of my being, I miss you Ntsintsi
J , never knew how much
I loved you till the day I woke up and felt my soul drifting away from my body
, no words could express the love I feel for you and funny how now the little
things we did replay themselves in my mind now and again, just the other day I
could see you making fun of umma ( our grandmother ) and her being very
irritated with you but you just wouldn’t stop
or the way you would criticize my cooking with a bit of sarcasm that just made my temper go up the roof . Time is very strange in a sense
that it doesn’t really make you forget anything but just makes you feel
different emotions and appreciative of the allowance it gives you to either
make things worse or better.
You know my heart and
I felt your pain that had me swimming in
guilt and regret , then I remembered how much you loved me and cared though I was
harsh towards you , you were always warm and
loving towards me and I do miss that and I know you miss my bitching too
J , Time was never my friend but you were my
beautiful brother and I do want to thank god for the time he gave us , whether
it be us fighting , not understanding each other or just learning each other ‘s
moods , I am grateful to god for all of
that .
Time allows you to appreciate your past but also makes it
very difficult to embrace the future , to trust again and to allow any kind of
love in , the trick is to dream and
believe that he who created all things knows best .You always hated it when I
kissed you , so I am going to blow you a kiss and tell you one more time i.e I love you bro and I am trying my best
but damn I miss you ……Mcwaaaaaaaaaa!!
I hope you read this letter wherever you are.
Love
Your sister Phindile .
