We have always had a bittersweet relationship , which conflicted with logic and agreed with the heart , I never understood you, yet I constantly yearned for you . Dear love , I know you and pain are best friends on the down low , I wish you could terminate that toxic relationship, as its the main thing that separates you and me .
Dear love , I long for the warmness you bring my being , your openness to the unknown , your embrace that makes me feel like I belong , your understanding nature that fills my heart with joy , hope & patience , but then I recall the pain you also brought in me being open and trusting towards you , you shamed me , kicked me when I was down like a broken toy , made me question the notion of faithfulness and trust , you killed every belief one by one with every heartbreak , let down & disappointment .
Dear love , you are wicked in your ways , misleading and deceitful in the way you operate , you hate the mind as you know it will reason better , your dreamy hopes always bring tears and create bitter experiences once you have made your presence felt . Dear love , your lies flow better than African waterfalls , your words are smoke & mirrors of betrayal , yet I still yearn for you sometimes .
Dear love , you so close to my heart , but far away from my mind , I wish we could be friends even though conflict & contradictions tear us apart , I wish we could come to an understanding ....some kind of bargain or verbal agreement , I know you want me to flip over to your believes but I am too fragile to be naive .
Dear love , I write this with a heart that's darkened and torn to pieces , I hope you will understand my position and my ideologies , your delusional and I am practical and realistic , truth is I know one day you will attack full force , but until that day , I ask that you play fair & not fuck with me again .
Kind Regards
Phindile .
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