Pieces of my life experiences , the ups and downs of being an African woman.

Pretence is a killer

 I have always pride myself of being blunt and straight forward but I realised in the past few months that I had to hold back on my bluntness as not everybody can handle the truth well , instead they prefer to hide in pretence and in their delusional ideas of people or situations . Pretence is a killer as it allows you to be in denial  about the real situation that your faced with  and more lies build up because if the folks you love really knew the truth ,you know they will advise you differently but the need of wanting to be right sometimes is greater than the need to be truthful .

Pretence is a killer  and I  fail dismally when it comes to pretending , I would rather keep my distant from a spirit than act around them , I find it unnecessary and time consuming , actually just a waist of my time  to be honest . The change stages , finding new friends , letting go of the old , starting new relations , family  drama  or being excepted in a new family ,starting a home with someone or on your own , being promoted at work… ect…, all these things are stressful and have different effects ,they can either be good or just damn suffocating , it all depends on who you are and what you want in that particular stage.

I have had the pleasure of knowing one good spirit in the past two years and what I have learned from this old man ( .i.e directly and indirectly ) its priceless really and when the time came of having to say goodbye , I found myself all emotional and sad but appreciative of what I have learned from him , time spent and all the crazy funny, knowledgeable  moments we have shared . Pretence is a killer and change hurts a little bit sometimes, nobody ever says that as damnit if you cannot handle change it means your rigid and  that’s bullshit!! ….., we different and I know I have made some bad choices , choices which don’t go hand in hand with my believes all in the name of living in the moment , then finding myself in shit afterwards and having to take responsibility and keep it moving , my point is change is hard and it will not kill you to own that at some point in your life as appose to pretending that all is good and well .

The thing about pretence is that if you do it too often you ll be able to lie religiously and when your that far gone you will not know the difference anymore, at some stage we’ve all been lied to, I mean I ‘ve had folks lie to my face with a straight face ….( and  I learned to not believe what anybody says to me at face value because chances are they might be lying …. Jah that’s just me though… ) .

I say if you are able to dish out the truth with no sugar coding, also be able to receive the same when the tables are turned. Pretence is a killer and folks care way too much about being excepted and liked instead of being who they really are and  voice out what they prefer in life and expect  from their friends , loved ones and co- workers .

I have learned enough harsh lessons to know that it really doesn’t cost a damn thing to own who you are  and to always speak your truth without any pretence , then you will know the real folks who are supposed to be in your life .

 

Love

Switdifferent .