Pieces of my life experiences , the ups and downs of being an African woman.

To her.

I have never been the type to give up or except that something is not ment for me as my mom would always say that if you never push yourself to be the best, to attain the best , to be the best of friend to those you treasure their friendship, you will always have to settle for average  and  i never could  really make sense of that word till today. When you grow up surrounded by negative people and uncles who tell you that you will never amount to anything in life , you sort of quickly develop that" i will prove you wrong attitude"...., well in my case it was!! but now so much has changed , i have changed , life 's lessons,hardships and heartbreaks have all tought me one thing, i.e to trust god more, put him first and try to not loose the me that he wants me to be kusasa.

Its hard being a gugu gaga chick but i have come to except that i will always be misunderstood by folks , my family and  my friends, and its okay. The hardest thing i am currently struggling with at this moment in time is "patience"  and trusting that all that i wish for (with a bit of hard work from my side) will come to be.Weired one said it best just do you , but truth is abit of guidence from a loved one goes a long way , how i miss my mom but trust that she is with me in spirit. It feels stupid or should i say i feel stupid sometimes to work so hard everyday and still not get anywhere, to be so strong minded on what i believe in, in  a world where fakeness and just being pretty is promoted , actually let me refrase that being STUPID & SEXY is the way to go!!, if  you voice out an opinion guess what your a feminist and your too smart , like Really ??

I was never raised to be a follower and to surcome to idiotic bullshit that our society is feeding young girls these days, fine I am far from where i wish to be but that doesnt mean i should moan all the time, complaine, rollover and die ,not have an opinion, sleep with the next loaded asshole who thinks the world revolves around him  because his loaded or just give up becuase its too hard and i feel like a joke half the time., It just means i still need to push harder and hold on to me and gods word. My grandfather used to say " iJozi ishintsha abantu" ( meaning iJozi changes people ) but he was half wrong , its not the environment that changes you its what you allow to change you as a person. Folks with fucked up attitudes were not born like that , they simply allowed there status and egos to rest in their minds and dont understand that what you have achieved , your status , your material things dont make you *you* , it all just forms half of you , at the end of the day UBUNTU bakho towards others will say alot about the kind of man or woman you are.

I am not perfect and probably not the easiest person to get along with , but i do know that i am a work in progress, and will do my part . I hope and trust that god will do his part and give me the strength that i need to not give up on myself and what i wish for in life. But right about now i need a chill pill .

McwAAAA!!